How to Find Out If You've Been Posted in Are We Dating the Same Guy [2026]

You went on a few dates. Things didn’t work out. And now your dating app matches have mysteriously dried up, a colleague made a strange comment, or a friend told you “people are talking.” Something feels off — and you’re wondering whether someone posted about you in an Are We Dating the Same Guy group.

The problem: AWDTSG groups are private, women-only Facebook communities. These groups operate under Facebook’s Community Standards, including their Bullying and Harassment Policy, though enforcement is inconsistent. You can’t join, you can’t browse, and you can’t search. With over 3.5 million members across 350+ groups nationwide, the odds that someone has posted about you — whether fairly or not — are higher than most men realize.

This guide covers every method available to find out if you’ve been posted, the warning signs to watch for, and exactly what to do when you discover content about yourself.

Why AWDTSG Groups Are Invisible to You

Before diving into detection methods, it’s important to understand why checking for AWDTSG posts is so difficult.

Closed group structure. AWDTSG groups are set to “Private” on Facebook. Only approved members can see posts, comments, and member lists. The groups don’t appear in standard Facebook searches for non-members.

Women-only membership. Every AWDTSG group enforces women-only membership. Admins screen new member requests by reviewing profiles, requiring answers to screening questions, and sometimes conducting brief vetting conversations. Male-presenting profiles are rejected.

No external feeds. Unlike public Facebook pages or groups, private group content isn’t indexed by search engines, doesn’t appear in Facebook’s public API, and can’t be accessed through third-party tools.

Member-enforced secrecy. Many AWDTSG groups have explicit rules against sharing content outside the group. While these rules are routinely broken — screenshots leak constantly — there’s enough social pressure to keep much of the content contained within the group ecosystem.

The net result: a post about you could be seen by 50,000 women in your city, and you’d have absolutely no idea unless someone told you or the content leaked to a public platform.

Don’t Wait to Find Out the Hard Way

⚠️ If you suspect you’ve been posted, every hour matters. Posts gain momentum quickly — what starts as a single comment can become a viral thread within 24 hours. Our monitoring service catches posts early, and our removal team has a proven track record. Get a free consultation now. According to Pew Research Center, 41% of Americans have personally experienced some form of online harassment.

Every hour that post stays up, more people screenshot and share it. Our professional team removes AWDTSG and Facebook group posts every day. Get a free case review now.

Method 1: Ask a Trusted Female Contact

The most direct and reliable way to check if you’ve been posted in AWDTSG is to ask a woman you trust to search for you in the group.

Who to ask:

• A close female friend who understands the sensitivity
• A sister, cousin, or other female family member
• A trusted female coworker (only if appropriate given the relationship)

What to ask them to do:

1. Join the AWDTSG group for your city (if they aren’t already a member)
2. Use the group’s search function to search your first name
3. Scroll through recent posts looking for your photo
4. If they find anything, screenshot the entire post including all comments, the poster’s profile name, and any shares or reactions

Important caveats:

• Not all AWDTSG groups have robust search functionality — some require manual scrolling
• Posts may use only your photo without your name, making search-based detection unreliable
• Your contact should not comment on, react to, or engage with any post about you
• Asking too many people to check increases the risk of the situation becoming social gossip

This method works best when you have a single highly trusted person willing to do a thorough check. If you’re uncomfortable asking someone in your personal life, professional monitoring services provide an alternative.

Method 2: Google Yourself Strategically

While AWDTSG group posts aren’t directly indexed by Google, screenshots and discussions that leak to public platforms are. A systematic Google search can surface content that has spread beyond the original group.

Searches to run:

• "[Your Full Name]" dating — catches your name in dating-related contexts
• "[Your Full Name]" AWDTSG — direct hits if your name appears alongside group mentions
• "[Your Full Name]" "are we dating" — catches the full group name
• "[Your Full Name]" [Your City] dating — localizes results
• "[Your First Name]" [Your City] "are we dating the same guy" — broader but may surface posts where only your first name is used
• "[Your Full Name]" reddit dating — specifically targets Reddit leaks
• "[Your Full Name]" cheater OR narcissist OR warning — catches common AWDTSG post language

Google Alerts setup:

Set up Google Alerts for your name to receive automatic notifications when new content appears:

1. Go to google.com/alerts
2. Create alerts for your full name in quotes, your name + city, and your name + “dating”
3. Set delivery to “as-it-happens” rather than daily digest
4. Use a personal email you check regularly

Google Alerts won’t catch private Facebook content, but they will catch Reddit posts, forum discussions, blog reposts, and any public platform where screenshots have surfaced.

You don’t have to wait for Facebook to act — they won’t. Professional removal works through legal compliance channels that get results. Talk to our team today — the consultation is free and confidential.

Method 3: Monitor Reddit and Social Media

Reddit is the most common public platform where AWDTSG content surfaces. Several active subreddits discuss AWDTSG posts, share screenshots, and debate the groups’ impact.

Where to look on Reddit:

• r/AreWeDatingTheSameGuy — the main subreddit discussing these groups
• r/[YourCity] — local city subreddits where screenshots are sometimes shared
• r/dating — general dating discussions that sometimes reference AWDTSG posts
• r/Tinder, r/Bumble, r/HingeApp — dating app subreddits where AWDTSG is discussed

Social media platforms to check:

• Instagram — search your name, check tagged photos, and look for AWDTSG-related accounts in your city that reshare content
• Twitter/X — search your name, especially in combination with dating-related keywords
• TikTok — some creators share AWDTSG screenshots in video format; search your name and location
• Facebook — while you can’t see inside AWDTSG groups, check if any of your public posts have unusual comments or if mutual friends are acting differently

Method 4: Social Listening and Behavioral Signals

Sometimes the evidence isn’t a direct discovery — it’s a pattern of behavioral changes from people around you. These signals aren’t conclusive proof, but multiple signals happening simultaneously strongly suggest you’ve been posted.

Dating App Signal Changes

Sudden match drops. You were getting consistent matches on Hinge, Bumble, or Tinder, and the flow suddenly stops or drops dramatically. Women in your city are cross-referencing your dating profiles with AWDTSG posts.

Matches who unmatch without explanation. You had active conversations that suddenly go silent. Multiple women unmatching or stopping responses within the same timeframe is a red flag.

Unusual questions on dates. Women asking pointed questions about specific situations, past relationships, or accusations they “heard from a friend” may be referencing an AWDTSG post without telling you directly.

Preemptive rejections. Being turned down for dates by women who were initially interested, especially with vague explanations, can indicate they checked AWDTSG before committing.

Social Circle Changes

Friends making vague references. “Hey, have you been on the internet lately?” or “I saw something I should probably tell you about” from friends — especially female friends — often means they’ve encountered an AWDTSG post.

Acquaintances acting differently. People who were friendly suddenly becoming cold or distant, particularly women in your social circle, may have seen or heard about a post.

Ex-partners’ friends becoming hostile. If mutual friends from a past relationship are suddenly blocking you or making hostile comments, it may be connected to an AWDTSG post initiated by your ex.

Professional Signals

Unexplained professional cooling. Clients, colleagues, or professional contacts who suddenly become distant without clear cause may have encountered AWDTSG content during a casual Google search of your name.

Background check flags. If you’re in a field that involves reputation-sensitive work (finance, law, education, healthcare), AWDTSG content that has reached public platforms can appear in background checks or informal due diligence.

Ready to take action? Our team has helped hundreds of people remove defamatory Facebook group posts and take back their reputation. As seen on Mashable, 404 Media, and InsideHook. Submit your case for a free review.

Method 5: Professional Monitoring Services

For men who are actively dating in major metropolitan areas, professional monitoring offers the most comprehensive and reliable detection.

What professional monitoring includes:

• Active tracking across all AWDTSG groups in your area and surrounding cities
• Image recognition scanning for your photos across social platforms
• Real-time alerts when new content is detected
• Cross-platform monitoring (Reddit, Instagram, Twitter, forums)
• Monthly reporting on your online reputation status

Tea App Green Flags monitoring service:

Our monitoring program starts at $19.99 per month and includes:

• Coverage across all 350+ AWDTSG groups nationwide
• Monitoring of Tea App profiles and mentions
• Reddit and social media scanning
• Immediate alert notification via email and text
• Monthly reputation status report
• Priority access to removal services if content is detected (removal services quoted separately)

Professional monitoring is particularly valuable for:

• Men in high-profile careers where reputation is business-critical
• Men who are actively dating in large metropolitan areas
• Men who have gone through contentious breakups
• Men who have previously been posted and want to prevent re-posting
• Anyone who wants peace of mind that they’re not being discussed without their knowledge

What to Do When You Find a Post

You’ve confirmed that you’ve been posted in an AWDTSG group. Now what? The next 48 hours are critical. Read our complete first 48 hours checklist for detailed step-by-step guidance, but here are the essentials:

Immediate Actions (First 2 Hours)

Document everything. Screenshot the full post, every comment, the poster’s profile, reactions count, share count, and timestamps. If the content has appeared on other platforms, document those too. Save everything to a secure location — not just your phone camera roll.

Do not engage. Do not comment on the post, message the poster, create a fake profile to respond, or ask friends to defend you in the comments. Every one of these actions makes the situation worse and creates new content.

Assess the scope. Has the post spread beyond the original group? Check Google, Reddit, Instagram, and other platforms. Understanding the full scope of exposure informs the removal strategy.

Next Steps (First 48 Hours)

Evaluate the content. Is the post factually false? Does it contain defamatory statements? Or is it a generally accurate account that’s embarrassing but not legally actionable? This distinction affects your removal options. Learn more about defamation in AWDTSG.

Contact professional help. Get a free consultation with our team to understand your specific situation and options. We review the post, assess spread, and recommend the most effective removal strategy.

Secure your online presence. Lock down your social media profiles, adjust privacy settings, and remove any public content that could be used in follow-up posts or screenshots. The FTC’s Bureau of Consumer Protection provides additional resources for consumers facing online fraud and privacy violations.

Inform relevant people. If appropriate, proactively inform close friends, family, or professional contacts about the situation. Controlling the narrative is better than having them discover the content independently and forming conclusions without your input.

Removal Options

Depending on the content, several removal paths are available:

• DMCA takedown — if your copyrighted photo was used (low DIY success, high professional success)
• Facebook content policy report — if the post violates Facebook’s community standards
• Professional removal service — comprehensive removal with proven track record, typically within varies by case
• Legal action — cease and desist letters or defamation lawsuits for demonstrably false content

Prevention: Reducing Your Risk

While you can never fully prevent being posted about in AWDTSG, you can reduce your risk and limit potential damage:

Manage your digital footprint. Keep social media profiles private. Limit the photos available publicly. Use different photos across dating apps and social media to make cross-referencing more difficult.

Be intentional about dating communication. End conversations and relationships directly and respectfully. Ghosting — while tempting — is one of the most common triggers for AWDTSG posts.

Limit identifying information on dating profiles. Use first names only, don’t list your employer, and avoid photos that reveal your exact neighborhood or workplace.

Maintain respectful behavior. This should go without saying, but treating every person you date with basic respect and honesty significantly reduces the likelihood of retaliatory posting.

Set up monitoring early. Don’t wait until you suspect a problem. Proactive monitoring catches posts before they spread, making removal faster and more effective.

The Scale of the Problem

To put the risk in perspective:

• 3.5 million women are members of AWDTSG groups across the US
• 350+ groups cover nearly every metropolitan area
• Thousands of posts are created daily across all groups
• 30-40% of posts contain unverified or demonstrably false claims based on available research
• Most men who are posted about don’t find out for weeks or months — by which time the content has spread extensively

The men who fare best are those who discover posts early and act quickly. Whether through trusted contacts, systematic self-monitoring, or professional services, knowing what’s being said about you is the first step toward addressing it.

Take Action Now

If you’re reading this article, you’re likely already worried about whether you’ve been posted. Here’s what to do right now:

1. Run the Google searches listed above — it takes five minutes and costs nothing
2. Ask one trusted person to check your local AWDTSG group
3. Set up Google Alerts for your name
4. Consider professional monitoring — at $19.99/month, it’s affordable peace of mind

And if you find something — don’t panic, but don’t wait either. Contact our team for a free consultation. We’ve handled over 1,000 AWDTSG removals with a proven track record. We’ll help you understand your options and take the right next steps.

Related Articles

• Complete Guide for Men About AWDTSG
• Posted in AWDTSG: What to Do
• [AWDTSG DMCA Takedown Guide](/blog/awdtsg-dmca-takedown-photo-removal-guide)
• AWDTSG Defamation: Your Legal Rights
• How Screenshots Spread from AWDTSG
• AWDTSG Removal Services Compared

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Disclaimer: Tea App Green Flags is not a law firm and does not provide legal advice. This article is for informational purposes only. For legal counsel regarding defamation, privacy violations, or other legal matters, please consult with a licensed attorney in your jurisdiction.