Are We Dating the Same Guy: Complete Guide for Men

If you’re a man who dates in the United States, there’s a Facebook group with thousands of members in your city where women are sharing photos, names, and unverified claims about men — including potentially you. All AWDTSG posts fall under Facebook’s Community Standards, including their Bullying and Harassment Policy. Welcome to “Are We Dating the Same Guy.”

This guide explains everything you need to know about AWDTSG groups: how they work, why they matter, what happens when you get posted about, and exactly what your options are. Whether you’ve already been posted or you’re trying to understand the landscape, this is the comprehensive resource you need.

What AWDTSG Groups Actually Are

“Are We Dating the Same Guy” started as a single Facebook group in New York City in 2022. The concept spread rapidly, and by 2026, AWDTSG groups exist in nearly every major US city. The New York City group alone has over 164,000 members. Collectively, these groups have more than 3.5 million members across the country.

The stated purpose is straightforward: women share information about men they’ve dated to warn each other about potential dangers — cheaters, abusers, and dishonest partners. Members post a man’s photo, usually pulled from a dating app profile, along with a question like “Anyone know this guy?” or a statement about their experience.

The groups are women-only. Male-presenting individuals are blocked from joining, viewing posts, or responding. Membership is typically verified through profile review, and some groups require answering screening questions. The result is a closed ecosystem where claims about men circulate among thousands of women with zero input from the men being discussed.

Don’t Wait — Act Now

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Every hour that post stays up, more people screenshot and share it. Our professional team removes AWDTSG and Facebook group posts every day. Get a free case review now.

How Posts Work Inside the Groups

A typical AWDTSG post includes your dating profile photo (or a photo from your social media), your first name, and sometimes additional identifying information like your occupation, neighborhood, or the dating app where you were found. The poster then shares their experience or asks if anyone else has encountered you.

Positive posts do exist. Some women share good experiences and give “green flags” to men they’ve dated. These posts generate less engagement and spread less widely than negative ones.

Negative posts dominate attention. Posts containing warnings, accusations, or dramatic stories receive hundreds of comments and reactions. The group algorithm surfaces high-engagement content, which means the most inflammatory claims get the most visibility.

Comment sections escalate quickly. Once a negative post gains traction, other women share their own stories — real or imagined. The social dynamics of the group encourage agreement with the original poster. Women who express doubt or defend the man being discussed face backlash from other members.

Screenshots capture everything. Members regularly screenshot posts and share them outside the group — to friends via text, to Instagram Stories, to Reddit threads, and to other AWDTSG groups in nearby cities. Once content leaves the Facebook group, it becomes exponentially harder to contain.

Why You’re at Risk Even If You’ve Done Nothing Wrong

The fundamental problem with AWDTSG groups isn’t the concept of women sharing safety information — it’s the complete absence of verification. Anyone can post anything about anyone, and the group structure is designed to amplify rather than verify claims.

Common scenarios where innocent men get posted:

• Ex-partner revenge. A former partner posts fabricated claims after a breakup as retaliation. These posts are framed as “warnings” but are actually acts of revenge. Learn more about revenge posts in AWDTSG.

• Mistaken identity. With millions of users on dating apps, photos get confused. A woman posts about “Jason” from Hinge, and the photo matches three different Jasons. Two of them just got dragged into someone else’s story.

• Secondhand rumors. “My friend dated this guy and said he was horrible.” Posts based on hearsay spread through the group as though they’re firsthand accounts.

• Rejected interest. Someone you didn’t match with or politely declined posts you as a warning, fabricating reasons to explain why you weren’t interested.

• Coordinated attacks. In some documented cases, groups of women have collectively targeted a man with false posts as a form of social punishment or entertainment.

You don’t have to wait for Facebook to act — they won’t. Professional removal works through legal compliance channels that get results. Talk to our team today — the consultation is free and confidential.

What Happens When You Get Posted

Most men have no idea they’ve been posted about until the damage is already spreading. Here’s the typical chain of events:

Stage 1: The Post Goes Live. Your photo and name appear in a group with anywhere from 5,000 to 164,000 members. You don’t know it happened.

Stage 2: Engagement Builds. Within hours, the post has dozens to hundreds of comments. Members react, share stories, and amplify the original claims. The post rises in the group’s feed.

Stage 3: Screenshots Spread. Active members capture the post and share it through private messages, Instagram Stories, other AWDTSG groups, and public platforms like Reddit and Twitter.

Stage 4: Real-World Impact Begins. Women who see the post look you up on dating apps and unmatch you. Friends and acquaintances encounter the screenshots. Professional contacts find the content through Google searches.

Stage 5: The Content Gets Indexed. Search engines begin surfacing the content — screenshots on Reddit, discussions on forums, reposted content on blogs. Your name now returns results associated with the accusations.

This entire process can unfold in as little as twenty-four to forty-eight hours. By the time most men discover the post, it has already spread significantly beyond the original group.

How to Find Out If You’ve Been Posted

Since you can’t access AWDTSG groups directly, detection requires alternative methods:

Ask a trusted friend. A female friend or family member can join your local AWDTSG group and search for your name or photo. This is the most direct method but requires someone willing to help.

Google yourself regularly. Search your full name in quotes, your name plus your city, and your name plus “dating.” Screenshots from AWDTSG groups that reach public platforms get indexed by search engines.

Monitor Reddit and social media. Subreddits like r/AreWeDatingTheSameGuy and related communities often feature screenshots from Facebook groups. Instagram accounts dedicated to resharing AWDTSG content also exist.

Watch for indirect signals. A sudden wave of unmatches on dating apps, unexplained changes in how professional contacts treat you, or friends asking “have you seen what’s being said about you” are common warning signs.

Use professional monitoring. Reputation monitoring services can proactively track mentions of your name across AWDTSG groups and other platforms, alerting you immediately if content appears.

Ready to take action? Our team has helped hundreds of people remove defamatory Facebook group posts and take back their reputation. As seen on Mashable, 404 Media, and InsideHook. Submit your case for a free review.

What to Do If You’ve Been Posted

If you discover you’ve been posted in an AWDTSG group, your response in the first forty-eight hours significantly impacts the outcome. Read our detailed first 48 hours checklist for step-by-step guidance.

Immediate actions:

1. Document everything — screenshots of the post, comments, shares, the poster’s profile
2. Do NOT engage — no comments, no messages to the poster, no public statements
3. Assess the spread — check Google, Reddit, Instagram, and other platforms
4. Contact professional help — get a free consultation to understand your options

What NOT to do:

• Don’t try to join the group using a fake profile (you’ll be caught and it escalates the situation)
• Don’t have friends defend you in the comments (this almost always backfires)
• Don’t confront the poster directly (this becomes a new post)
• Don’t post about the situation on your own social media (this draws more attention)

Understanding Your Removal Options

You have several paths for addressing AWDTSG posts, each with different success rates and trade-offs:

Facebook reporting achieves roughly five to ten percent success. The platform’s automated systems don’t flag these posts as violations, and manual reviews rarely result in removal. Read our detailed breakdown of how Facebook handles AWDTSG reports.

DMCA takedown requests work when the post uses a photo you took of yourself. Success rates run forty to sixty percent for image removal specifically. See our DMCA takedown guide.

Legal action including cease and desist letters and defamation lawsuits can be effective but takes time and money. Learn about your legal rights and when to contact an attorney.

Professional removal services achieve ninety-two to ninety-five percent success rates within 30 to 90 days. Tea App Green Flags specializes in AWDTSG and Tea App removal, addressing content across all platforms where it has spread.

The Bigger Picture

AWDTSG groups represent a broader shift in how reputations are built and destroyed online. The combination of anonymous posting, zero verification, group psychology that discourages skepticism, and cross-platform sharing creates conditions where anyone can become a target regardless of their actual behavior.

Understanding this landscape doesn’t mean living in fear. It means being informed about a system that affects millions of men who are actively dating, and knowing that effective solutions exist when false accusations emerge.

The key takeaway: if you’re posted in an AWDTSG group, the situation is serious but not permanent. Professional removal works, your legal rights are real, and the sooner you act, the better the outcome.

City and State AWDTSG Removal Guides

Looking for location-specific removal help? See our guides for New York City, Los Angeles, Chicago, and more. For state-level legal information, check our California and New York guides.

Related Articles

Your Legal Rights | Proving False Accusations | How Screenshots Spread

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Disclaimer: Tea App Green Flags is not a law firm and does not provide legal advice. The information on this page is for general informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal counsel. Tea App Green Flags provides professional defamation removal and reputation management consultation services. For legal advice regarding your specific situation, please consult a licensed attorney in your jurisdiction. Results vary by case; removal timelines are estimates and not guarantees.