Are We Dating the Same Guy Shut Down? What Happened

You heard from a friend of a friend that your name came up in one of those “Are We Dating the Same Guy” groups. Maybe someone sent you a screenshot, or maybe you found a vague reference when you searched your own name. You went looking for the group to see what was said—and the link was dead. The group was gone. So you told yourself it must be fine, the whole thing got shut down, the post is gone.

That assumption could be costing you without you knowing it.

The reality of what happened to AWDTSG is more complicated than a clean shutdown. Understanding it properly is the difference between actually protecting yourself and hoping a problem has solved itself.

What Actually Happened to the Are We Dating the Same Guy Groups

The short version: major AWDTSG Facebook groups were removed. The longer version is that removal did not mean elimination.

Between 2022 and 2023, Facebook took down several of the largest AWDTSG groups—some of which had grown to hundreds of thousands of members in major cities. Meta cited violations of its community standards, including doxxing, coordinated harassment, and the sharing of personally identifiable information without consent. These were real removals of real groups.

But here is what did not happen: the communities did not disappear. The members did not stop talking. The posts that already existed in those groups were not systematically found and deleted from the internet.

What actually happened is that the communities fragmented and migrated. Some women rebuilt groups immediately under new names. Some switched to invite-only private groups where they are invisible to anyone not already a member. Others moved their activity to platforms that were designed for this exact purpose—including the Tea app.

If you have been telling yourself that the “are we dating the same guy shut down” news means your problem is resolved, you should verify that before accepting it.

The Migration to Private Facebook Groups

After the high-profile removals, many AWDTSG communities simply got quieter and harder to find—not smaller.

Private and secret Facebook groups are not searchable. You cannot find them by typing a city name into the Facebook search bar. You need an existing member to invite you, or you need to know the exact group name. This means that men trying to self-search in order to check whether they have been posted often come up empty, not because they are clean, but because the groups are now hidden from them.

There are hundreds of these smaller regional groups still operating. Some explicitly call themselves AWDTSG. Others use different names that accomplish the same function. The shift to private did not reduce activity—in some cases, women reported feeling more comfortable posting once the groups became less public, because there was less fear that the subjects of posts would immediately find and harass them.

If you tried to find these groups yourself and found nothing, that absence is not the same as a clear record.

Why the Tea App Became a Destination After Facebook Removals

The Tea app was not created as a response to the AWDTSG shutdowns, but it benefited from them. Tea is a standalone mobile app built specifically to let people share anonymous reviews and warnings about people they have dated. Unlike a Facebook group, it is a dedicated platform with its own infrastructure, its own moderation approach, and its own user base.

When the large AWDTSG Facebook groups were removed, Tea already existed as an alternative. Some former group members migrated there. Some used both. And importantly, Tea continued to grow independently, with or without the AWDTSG connection.

Content on Tea does not show up in Google searches the way a public Facebook post might. You cannot browse it without the app. This makes it particularly difficult to find on your own—which is exactly why it matters for anyone who has been posted there. You can search the Tea app directly, but the structure of the platform makes self-searching incomplete without knowing what specific terms were used in a post about you.

How to Actually Find Out If You Have Been Posted

If you have heard something about a post, or if you have reason to believe someone may have shared negative information about you, the process for finding out has several steps.

For Facebook groups, you can try searching your full name in Facebook and filtering by groups—but remember that private and secret groups will not appear. You can search for common AWDTSG group names in your city and request to join, though many groups do not accept men as members. You can ask a female friend or contact to search on your behalf.

For Tea specifically, the process involves searching your name, your photo, and related information within the app. This is where a purpose-built tool matters. Our free Tea Checker is designed to surface content on Tea that you might not find through manual searching—it is a faster starting point than trying to navigate the app blind.

The key point is that you need to check multiple places, not assume that one platform being removed clears the picture everywhere.

What Posts on These Platforms Can Actually Say About You

Not every post is equally serious. Some posts are straightforward accounts of a bad date. Others contain false information, fabricated accusations, or details about your workplace, family, or address that cross into doxxing territory.

This matters because the category of content affects your options. Factually inaccurate posts may be removable under platform policies related to false information. Posts containing personal identifying information may violate doxxing rules. Posts that make specific false factual claims may have implications beyond platform policy.

What is generally true is that neither Facebook nor Tea automatically removes posts just because the subject of the post requests it. Removal requires engaging with the platform’s specific process, which is different for each platform and not always transparent. Our removal services exist because this process is genuinely complicated—it is not something most people can navigate effectively in an afternoon.

The Current Status of AWDTSG: What to Expect in 2024 and Beyond

The original large AWDTSG groups are down. That is accurate. But the concept, the communities, and the content continue across:

• Smaller, private AWDTSG-named Facebook groups in most major metropolitan areas
• The Tea app, which has its own standalone user base independent of Facebook
• Other platforms where similar communities have formed, including some Subreddits and Discord servers

The “are we dating the same guy shut down” story is real in the narrow sense that specific groups were removed. It is misleading in the broader sense that the ecosystem around this content remains active and continues to generate new posts every day.

If something was posted about you before a group was removed, that post still existed in the memories and screenshots of everyone who saw it—even if the group itself is gone. Screenshots get reshared. Content gets reposted. A removal of the original does not guarantee that copies are not circulating elsewhere.

What to Do If You Think You Have Been Posted

Start by getting accurate information. Running a free Tea Checker takes a few minutes and gives you a realistic picture of what is currently live on Tea. That is the right first step before deciding what to do next.

If you search and find nothing, you have some reassurance—though not a guarantee, for the reasons outlined above about private Facebook groups.

If you find something, the next step is understanding what the post says and whether it is accurate, inaccurate, or somewhere in between. That assessment determines which removal options are available and how to pursue them. Our removal services are the right path if you have already found content and need help getting it taken down.

Do not make decisions based on the assumption that a shutdown you heard about cleaned everything up. Check first. Then act based on what you actually find.